Upon listening to a recent podcast by one of my favorite YouTubers, I found one example he gave to be incredibly interesting. He compared dogs from shelters compared to dogs from breeders. Although they are both entirely the same species: how they will live is likely to be extremely different from one another because of their upbringing. This goes to be the same for human beings. Even though we are all humans, and trauma itself is completely immeasurable, some of us have adapted in certain ways to survive the hard circumstances we have been through.
However: This isn’t a life sentence.
Think of the puppy you brought home from the shelter. Maybe he/she is skinny, weak, tired or a little aggressive since they came from harsher environments, and the puppy you brought home from the breeder is carefree and wants to snuggle up to you because they’re used to a happy life. Within time, the care, effort and trust that you put into the sheltered animal will evolve into a different animal. One that’s caring and loving and living a happy life.
The same goes for human beings.
It’s your sole responsibility to take care of yourself. Emotional availability and awareness is not a skill that is given to us, it’s developed with work. Taking care and prioritizing yourself is truly a full-time job. The hard part is to look at the shadow as well. Look at the problems you face, and the things you want to change.
" In order for the light to shine so brightly, darkness must be present" (Francis Bacon)
Where do we start and what does this look like?
Get to know yourself,
What do you like? What makes you feel at peace or calm? What makes you feel safe? Make a list of the positive things in your life that make you feel good.
After that, implement them.
Then take a look at the things you want to change or the things you feel you would be happier without. Work on removing them.
Sometimes showing up for ourselves seems like a hard task. We feel like it can wait, or as if it’s not that important. But it is. You can change your life with how you treat yourself. Everything is possible. Stand up for yourself, and let it be the last time you live in a way that feels like settling.